One-Pound-5-Ounce Beautiful Russian Man Trap, only $350!
I just finished this scarf made from one (almost) whole fleece. It's bignormous! It's soft! it's ribbed (bonus), it's so completely luxurious. when you snuggle it it hugs you back like a fat kitty. you can tell it your secrets and it will never repeat them, only back to you if you want it to. it looks like a scarf but feels like a blanket. but it's wearable!! this is a perfect scarf for traveling through the sierras in the winter, in case there's chain control and you have to pull over and run from the car to the bar while you wait for the chain boys to do their thing and you don't want to get snowflakes on the cashmere sweater....this is perfect! or if traveling in the frozen netherlands (or urbanlands) of russia and you want that pale porcelain look but you want it from the expensive Laura Mercier makeup and NOT from the fact that you were ill-attired and froze to the lamppost. This scarf will keep you from freezing to lamposts, trees, ice-hotels! and then, when you're not frozen, but looking HOT in this gorgeous scarf you can wander freely in the arctic reaches. take a stroll through the woods and even if you stumble upon a tiny russian cabin with a striking hearty beautiful russian man, he won't think you are a foolish foreigner that he has to save from exposure. no, he will be so mightily impressed at the utility of wearing an entire sheep around your beautiful, snow-kissed, elongated neck that he will drop his ax and carry you off into the woods because you can take the woods, you won't even need the cabin or the fire! and when he's done he'll build you a big beautiful cabin with a second story and when he needs to go out to chop wood, or get milk, or shoot a caribou for dinner he will borrow your scarf! and he will rock it, because it is also a man-scarf (if a man wears it), and he will look beautiful and be so toasty while he does manly russian things in and about his love cabin!
But alas! I wish i could keep it. but i cannot. and i'm too heartbroken to make another. like any great love, it cannot be replaced. only remembered with fondness, or passion, or criminal plots.
so if you want this big beauty, email me firstname.lastname@example.org i'm sure i can ship it to you by christmas!!!
appx 7ft x 13"
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